Our Doctrine Is A Special Transmission

When I was in the UK a few months ago, I read an interview of the famous supergroupie Pamela Des Barres.  Now, I actually kinda like Pam.  I certainly recognize her archetype from around Los Angeles and have no bone to pick with them.  Plus, chick babysat for Frank Zappa. I, for one, enjoy imagining what it must have been like to babysit for Frank Zappa ("Hey, Moon Unit, stop hitting your brother with that bong and put back your dad's poodle hat!").  On the other hand, when black women complain about the different treatment black women receive versus white women for doing the exact same thing, think about the lionization of Pamela Des Barres. Then wonder if SuperHead will ever get the same respect.  Yeah, I don't think she will either. 

NOTE: If you disagree with me on this point, I will accept the counterargument that the causative factor of this difference in treatment is not race, but the phenonmenon whereby everything and everyone gain dignity and respect through the passage of time.  Nevertheless, if SuperHead becomes a grand dame of 8th generation feminism, that will only be because the supergroupies twenty years from now will have names like "RoofieMe" and "AnalRape."

ANYWAY, the interviewer asked Pammy De B. whether it was true that rock stars like making love with thier own music playing in the background.  Pam denied that any of her own conquests liked doing that, but then PDB shared the story of one of her supergroupie friends. 

Yes, apparently there is a supergroupie support network.

According to PDB, her friend was the only member of the SGSN to ever report being with a musician who insisted on playing his own music while fucking.  Who was this musician?

Al Green.

Ponder that for a second.

Al Green listens to Al Green when making love.

Even better? Al Green's stated rationale for listening to Al Green while Al Green made love was, and I quote:

"Everybody else is listening to Al Green when they're fucking.  Why shouldn't I?".

I'm not even going to bother googling it out, I know R. Kelly has also said something to that end.  When R. Kelly says that he fucks to R. Kelly because everyone else gets to fuck listening to R. Kelly, I feel disgust.

When, however, Al Green says he listens to Al Green when making love, I don't hear ego.  I hear pride in workmanship.  I can't hate Al Green for that.  It would be like hating an engineer at Porsche for driving a Porsche.  I WANT the guy who makes Porsches to be driving Porsches.

Besides, two words: Simply Beautiful.

NO really, this guy is the best music teacher I have ever had.  Straight from the hood brilliant teacher. In some lessons, he doesn't even speak.  He simply relies on disembodied hands and the occasional subtitle like,

Like Crash Davis from Bull Durham, I have a deeply held set of beliefs regarding music.  These beliefs are not negotiable.

I believe in Jack. 

I believe Rocket 88 was the first rock and roll song.  Fuck Bill Haley. 

I believe in the Jeff Richmond Rule (never trust a DJ who isn't dancing to their own music).  If the DJ isn't excited about his or her own music, why should you be?  You should never reward musical apathy.

I believe the Rolling Stones are better than the Beatles.  I am not saying that just to be contrary.  

Fela Kuti is just as important as Bob Marley.

Although real hip hop will never die, it needs to visit its doctor for regular checkups.

I believe that if you are ever scared, bored, lost, confused or simply have no idea what you're doing, you should start dancing.  Dancing randomly will most certainly make you feel better.  On a related note, if you ever find yourself at a karaoke-related event, you must sing at least one song.  If you do not sing at least one song, you are an asshole.  If you do not know what song to sing, just follow these rules: 1.) Shorter is better, so be sure to pick a song that does not have lots of  musical interludes; 2.) pick a song that everyone can sing along to (bonus points if it makes people want to dance), 3.) pick songs that don't necessarily require "singing" (e.g, Billy Idol's "White Wedding" or most rap songs).  Ignore rule three if you can actually sing.

It is in fact better to burn out than to fade away.

Everyone should absolutely loathe at least one form of music.  What you loathe must, however, be something more specific than simply "country music" or "rap." Me? I loathe psytrance.

If something involves noise and that something makes at least one person happy, you cannot deny that said something is music.

No matter what people say about the extinction of mega pop stars, there will be another band as big as the Beatles and there will be another record as universally and rightfully loved as Thriller.   The next Beatles will not, however, speak English or play guitars.  At least two of them have already started hanging out together in some slum in Rio or Bangalore or Seoul.   They are fifteen at most.  I hope you hear of them from me first.

Writing yesterday's post exposed me to a quote from Todd Boyd, a professor of critical studies at the University of Southern California School of Cinema-Television.  Trying to deflate a mythological version of the history of rap, Boyd noted, "You can't make hip-hop into something it's not . . . Hip-hop, at the end of the day, is about beats and rhymes."

Hip Hop is about beats and rhymes.

I <heart> this line. 

Not only do I think it's fundamentally accurate, I like it's formula.  It's meme-tastic. It makes me want to spend all day reducing every genre of music to it fundamental essence, which obviously can be expressed in three syllables or less. Thus, if Hip Hop is about beats and rhymes . . .

Rock and Roll is about getting laid.

Indie Rock is about feelings.

Soul is about the feeling.

Techno is about "oonce", "oonce," "oonce."

Minimal Techno is about "oonce," just "oonce."

Funk is about getting down.

Blues is about what went wrong.

Punk is about an-ar-chy.

Country is about what went wrong.

Krautrock is about Germans.

House Music is about a soul thing.

If some enterprising grad student in cultural anthropology ever gets around to making an annotated version of "Stuff White People Like," he or she will definitely be able to cite this article from my local indie paper as a primary source supporting Christian Lander's observations about the relationship between white people and Hip Hop.  

See:

1.) http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/11/18/116-black-music-that-black-people-dont-listen-to-anymore/ ;

2.) http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/05/guest-column-top-ten-songs-white-people-love/ (linking to http://www.catsandbeer.com/music/the-top-10-rap-songs-white-people-love ) ;

3. ) http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/17/69-mos-def/ .

See, also, http://www.avclub.com/articles/christian-lander,14296/

I'm doomed to even complain about this because complaining about the recommendation that Hip Hop, in particular, "needs to loosen up," invites the observation that I, in particular, need to loosen up.  Now, I don't believe  the "real hip-hop=political hip-hop" mythology. (See http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/000673.html) Furthermore,  Hip Hop is not monolithic (i.e. I like a rap ecosystem that has people making widely divergent things).  Nonetheless, let's be cognizant of Hip Hop's broader social context.  As Bell Hooks explains, the capitalist superstructure to which Hip Hop is tied puts a distinct economic pressure for the rational, self-interested hip hop artist to produce misogynistic and violent fantasies (fake gangster rap) and/or air headed minstrelsy.  Given this context, the last thing Hip Hop, in particular, of all the forms of modern music, needs to do is "loosen up."

What also chaps me about this review is, consistent with both Hooks and Ladner's observations about bourgeois white consumption of hip hop, this review appears to follow the depressing trend of white consumers of hip hop to find hip hop worthy of consumption only when it is discussing nothing  (literally discussing nothing in Wale's case given reference to his famed use of Seinfeld).  These consumers love the artist when he talks about nothing, yet then oddly dismiss the artist when the artist attempts to say something with substance.  Look, I respect the conclusion that a given artist might not have best said something "deep" (I have sat through enough bad poetry jams to honor that perogative), but I am particularly suspect of that here, for the forgoing reasons and also the lack of quotes showing Wale's lackluster flow or links to particular tracks so I can judge for myself.  The broad faced order telling HIP HOP as a whole to loosen up doesn't make me want to be generous (tell Morrissey and the Emo kids, and the twihards "loosen up", tell the grime kids to loosen up, no, it's ok for them to be nothing but serious, por que?)

Lastly, the position that hip hop needs to loosen up is a critically uninformed position.  Even though we live in a world where I can list 50 other things hip hop needs to do before "loosening up," there are plenty of artists right now making music that is fun and danceable (Did Rob not do the Rickey Bobby or the Stanky Leg?).  There are also a ton of artists who are deep, brilliant, fun, different and not a caricature (from Devon the Dude to like, uhm, everybody on Stone's Throw Records).

Ok Kids,

Normally in the world of music bloggerdom, the goal is to wow people with the depth and/or breadth of your musical knowledge.  And really, I'd love to be the perfect music snob who listens to Pakistani folk duos.  There's only one problem.  To be a world class music snob, you must be able to remember names.  Names of popular bands, names of obscure bands, names of popular bands whose names are a play off of obscure songs, names of obscure bands whose names are a play off of popular songs, names of odd records that sold only 500 copies, but influenced 1 million bands. Fuck, I have a buddy who can tell you the specific name of every model synthesizer used on every major record since Bob Moog got his first soldering iron.  

I, unfortunately, am shitty with names.

In fact, without hours of facebook study, I wouldn't know who half you people are.  I desperately ask you not to test me on this.  Why? Because I'm taking my ignorance back.  I'm flaunting my ignorance for the whole internetz to see by once again sharing the name of a band or musician that everybody on Earth knows about and has known about for ages . . .
whereas me. . . Me?!?! I didn't know who the hell this person was until last week.

Going with the theme of my inability to remember names, Teena Marie is the most recent popular artist for whom the veil of ignorance was only recently lifted from my eyes.

Coming to musical consiousness in the early 1980's, I certainly was aware that there was an entity the went by the name "Teena Marie."  I was also aware, however, of a Sheila E., a Donnie and Marie, and a Sandra Dee.  It seems that there was not enough space in my four year old-brain to assign distinct identities to every name on the list of Donnie & Marie, Sandra Dee, Teena Marie, and Sheila E.  Then Sheena Easton showed up a few years later and Teena Marie was, to put it succinctly, fucked.  Accordingly,  if you had asked me at any point last week to answer the question "how many people would be sitting at the table if Donnie & Marie, Sandra Dee, Teena Marie, Sheena Easton, and Sheila E. were having dinner?", my answer would have been five. Yes, The correct answer is five, but that's because Sandra Dee is a fictional character from the musical Grease.  Sandra Dee is the one that does not exist. Last week, Sandra Dee was the real person on my list. Teena? Teena was but a ghost, a mormon, drum playing, spandex wearing, composite with no identity of her own.   Then I heard "Behind the Grove" on the Tom Joyner Radio Show a few days ago and it finally dawned on me, 25 years later: Teena Marie is not Sheila "The E Stands for Escovedo not Easton" E., Teena Maries is not Sheena "Don't Abbreviate My Last Name, it Confuses People" Easton, Teena Marie is neither Donnie nor is she Marie, and, most importantly, Teena Marie is not Sandra Dee (unless Teena Marie played Sandra Dee in a revival of Greece, then my head explodes).  That's the power of a good drum break. It forces me to confirm your name.

p.s. Bloody Fucking Hell, it has been brought to my attention that Sandra Dee was a real person too. The character in Grease was named Sandy Olson.   The song from Grease, "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee," was a play on the similarity between the names and supposed moral values of the two blonds.
 
Even with this new information, the answer to the question "how many people would be sitting at the table if Donnie & Marie, Sandra Dee, Teena Marie, Sheena Easton, and Sheila E. were having dinner?", my answer would have been five and the correct answer is FIVE, because Sandra Dee is dead.  

OK Kids,

I've come to the conclusion that minimal keeps me warm. That must be why December and January are the only times of the year where I make mixes featuring nothing but minimal and a side of techno.  My record collection is a mess right now and I don't know what half of these tracks are, even the ones I cut up myself.  It opens with a track by Bodycode, followed by Marcel Kopf's "Skinny Bitches." Levon Vincent's "Love Technique" gets used (primarily because it's one of my favorite dance music monolgues and I'll never get around to making that "Jack Needs to STFU mix" I've been promising to make for the last five years). There is definitely some Omar S in there somewhere.  The rest, in Gary Larson's words, is a vulture's picnic basket and I didn't bother to look inside.

Paris from the Eiffel Tower is Minimal

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the techno.  Next one is disco, I promise.

P.S, I'm going to be on the East Coast for January (Boston, NYC, maybe D.C., I'm hunting for gigs and places to stay, so holla!)

In no particular order, albums I thought were awesome in 2009:

1.) Eleven Pond - Bas Relief.  For years, Bas Relief has been a total collector's item for fans of darkwave and synthpop.  Fortunately for my wallet, Dark Entries Records reissued and beautifully remastered Bas Relief over the summer.  Bas Relief was the only full length album from upstate New York's Eleven Pond and is noteable for combining the sort of insistent, guitar driven melodies associated with "Faith"-era The Cure with the proto-industrial sensibilities of mid-80's Depeche Mode. 

Favorite Track: Portugal

2.) Nite Jewel - Good Evening. Nite Jewel is what would happen if Coco Rosie had slightly (and I emphasize SLIGHTLY) better skills with samplers and enjoyed disco.  Nite Jewel exists in a  shoegazer haze full of ethereal electronic loops, beautiful female vocals and fragile, disco slow-burners.  Not surprisingly, they have been getting a lot of attention from key new disco mavens, even appearing in my favorite italo/new disco comp of the year, Lo Recording's Milky Disco Vol. 2.  

Favorite Track: What Did He Say

3.) Seth Troxler - Afrika EP.  My favorite scene in The Blues Brothers is where the boys talk/lie their way into a gig at a honky tonk bar by pretending to be the band that is actually scheduled to play.  When Elwood asks, "what kind of music do you normally have here?" the bar manager replies, "Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western."

The world of electronic music is like that.  You've got "Techno" *and* "Tech House" *and* "Minimal" *and* all these other genres that seem arbitrary and indistinguishable to the uninitiated. To fans, however, the boundaries between the various flavors of Techno are genuinely felt. There is a difference between Techo, and Tech House, and Minimal, and these differences are so real and so meaningful that it's a cause for excitement when someone like Seth Troxler is able to play all the kinds of Techno without compromise.  

Anyway, Seth Troxler is by far my favorite DJ right now.  By all rights, I should hate this kid for being, on paper, WAY too-cool-for-school.  Seriously, if I had read about him in Pitchfork before seeing him live and getting my head completely bent, I probably would have died in a jealous fit.  Here's this 24 year old Jimi Hedrix looking kid from DETROIT who (it's been verified) was hanging out with significant Detroit Techno DJs as an 8 year old, who then up and moves to BERLIN and who starts making records with Matthew Dear.  He's playing Watergate and Berghain on the regular, plus he looks like a central casting version of a dj. Did I mention he's only 24? Choke me.

Luckily, I saw ST play live without knowing any backstory about who he was.  I was floored by his ability to move effortlessly and with a genuine sense of fun across all the Maginot Lines of Techno demarcation.  He brought the Country *and* the Western. Most importantly, he made everyone have, in the words of the Tom Tom Club, "fun, natural fun."

On top of his constant touring schedule and far flung residencies in 2009, Seth Troxler somehow released a slew of singles and remixes.  The Aphrika EP and it's title single are probably the most accessible of his 2009 releases, especially if you don't actually like *Techno*.  Over a reverbed-up Maya Angelou recitation of Phenomenal Woman, Aphrika is typical Troxler: slowly building, distorted synths, and precussion that manages to be both minimal and intricate simultaneously.

Favorite Track: Aphrika

4.) Phantogram - Eyelid Movies. This electronic rock duo have claimed that they sound like Kanye West meets Radiohead.  Throw in a "also reminds me of They Might Be Giants," and I think I'm done.

Favorite Track: Futuristic Casket

 
In no particular order, compilations and other musical odds and ends from 2009 I thought were awesome:

1.) Various Artists - Panama! Vol. 3 - Calypso Panameño, Guajira Jazz & Cumbia Tipica on the Isthmus 1960-75.  On a seemingly yearly basis, the culture vultures flock to some different region of Latin America or Africa and announce with hipster glee how, because of this region's combination of location, weather, and colonial politics, the music of the region du jour is the most beautiful, and unique, and sexy music in the world . . . and you plebeian gringos missed out.  By my count, the decade began with Afrobeat (check out The Root's article on the strange love affair between the U.S. and Fela), then Diplo "discovered" Brazilian Baille Funk, then in 2007 the kids from the Bersa Discos label came north with left-field cumbia from Argentina and The Fader went nuts for all of them.    

I point this out not to knock (too hard) these guys. Diplo's Mad Decent and Bersa Discos are two of my favorite domestic record labels.  Bersa Discos music is particularly awesome in the correct dose.  No, I point this all out more to say, the decade seems to be ending with a lot of attention on Panama and there is plenty of room on the Panama band wagon if you act without further delay.

And rightly so.  If port cities are known for generating unique music and culture, it makes sense that a CANAL country that is a freaking ISTHMUS between two CONTINENTS would be able to generate some really interesting hybrids between traditionally South America sounds like Cumbia, Caribbean influences such as Calypso, and American funk.

Favorite Track: Lord Cobra - Colan Colan

2.) Various Artists - Milky Disco, Vol. 2. This is an excellent compilation of italo, dark disco, baleric, and new disco featuring some nice songs from G/L/A/S/S/C/A/N/D/Y, Black Devil Disco Club, and Nite Jewel. Vol. 2 of this series is not as good as the first volume, which featured genre defining tracks such as Padded Cell's "Konkorde Lafayette," but Vol. 2 still is pretty killer if you ignore some of the filler (of which there are several tracks in this two disc compilation).

3.) Various Artists - Nigeria 70: Lagos Jump.  A nice compilation of Nigerian psychedelic rock.  The best tracks on this comp, such as Ify Jerry Krusade's "Everybody Likes Something Good," are really fun.  What's significant about this compilation is that it features tracks that are more clearly influenced by the garage rock sounds of American bands like Love than the James Brown influenced sounds you traditionally associate with Lagos (Fela!) from that period.

4.) Henrik Schwarz, Dixon & Ame - The Grandfather Paradox.  

Here's a neat video of Henrik Schwarz, Dixon, and Ame explaining the project.

Rather than trying to find the newest, most underground records for this mix of minimal and techno, they combined tracks from at least 50 years of minimalistic music. It's really brilliant.  They cover a lot of ground, managing to jump from artists that you'd readily associate with minimal dance music such as Robert Hood and i:cube! to artists whose inclusion in a minimal mix makes you scratch your head, but totally work in context (Cymande, Pat Metheny, Can).  Key Tracks: John Carpenter - The President is Gone.

5.) Michna – Magic Monday.  Although not from 2009, I didn't genuinely hear this one until recently. The first track, Triple Chrome Dipped,  has been my "zone out and work" track for the last month.  The bass line moves you in your seat from side to side while also creating the sort of slow groove that hypnotizes one into productivity.  Plus the video for Triple Chrome Dipped is amazing (but slightly NSFW).

Other bass/glitch electronic musicians I thought had good years: Appleblim, PantyRaid (the collaboration between Marty Party + Ooah of the Glitch Mob), NosajThing, Nicodemus.

6.) James Otis White Jr. - Baby Come On. This music makes you want to buy a lowrider and call your friends "esse." But don't, because that would be stupid (unless you are chicano, then by all means, knock yourself out). 

Special passenger logo

In celebration of Hanukkah, my friends over at Special Passenger Records are releasing a compilation album featuring a variety of bands from across the nation.  The "Hanukkah Project" officially drops on December 3 at a dirty manischewitz throw down at 121 Studios.  In the next few days, you should be able to order a copy of the Hanukkah Project, featuring a special pack of Hanukkah goodies (omg! a dreidel! omg! a menorrah temporary tattoo!), via Special Passenger's Etsy site: http://www.etsy.com/shop/speshpass

I'm impatient though, so you can download MY contribution to the Hanukkah Project right here, right now.  Because really kids, I'm serious, you need to enjoy Hanukkah, and you need to start enjoying Hanukkah without any delay.

Download:
Os Chavez feat. MC Language Master - "Enjoy Hanukkah (album version)"
Os Chavez feat. MC Language Master - "Enjoy Hanukkah (extended dance remix)"

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